survival kit: tools of engagement

Still from movie: Lives of Others (2006)

There is a moment once in a while when you see, crystal clear, your own becoming. It is transcendent but more temporal than you'd like it to be...yet it feels like things will never be the same again.

Like the moment right after you lose your virginity.

Or the first time you realize that just because you're saying the truth, other people won't necessarily believe you.

The first time you try drugs.

And of course, the first time you encounter death.

But all these occasions have something powerful in common: you become more detached, and a new set of practical foundations start to build and back you up. These foundations no longer fundamentally support your moral beliefs or expectations; they merely suggest that everything will constantly change and that you will never get it exactly right. Your only redemption would rely on a sharpened sense of adaptation, the power to migrate and leave behind, while simultanesouly savoring the sweet sensibility of history and romanticism. 

Now that (losing your virginity, telling the truth,  taking drugs, mourning death) is the easy part.