may last

oil is still spilling

i picked neither

prepare the rent

and finish this paper.

K of F

public letters

Been avoiding personal posts. . . 


Beach, and parks, and BBQ's and patios, are in my friends' vocabularies and strictly (painfully) erased from mine. The reason being that I'm taking my last three undergraduate courses and it 'aint easy.
I also deleted my facebook, and deleted friends and more-than-friends who were counter-productive or just mean(-ingless), from my life. My mom called it a detox. She's right, I hadn't even noticed the pattern until now.
I feel weird when I go on personal tangents online. The overuse of "I" and the seemingly trivial disclosure of my personal habits or observations in a very internal context and through this medium, is some what strange. But I feel both embarrassingly exposed and comfortably naked . . .

Oh, here's a secret: I always hated the letter T, which is a problem when your name starts with it. I just didn't like the shape. Both in Farsi () and in English, it seemed like a lonely, unstable, disjointed letter...not as sexy as an S, and not as convincing as a K. 
Recently however, I realized that it's a more than fine letter if on its own: you can't call your friend A (ai), or R (aarh), or M (emm). It just doesn't sound right. But you can call me T (tee). You see? it's perfect.

the best lovers

are those who never depart in peace.

whispers

funny little animals
come in herds of surprised compromise
and checkered stares

she leaves his home to hers to theirs to his to hers
she leaves something behind
with tiny specs of distrust

good and evil
bad and beyond
confounded to chains of perspective
my cheat is your grace, our's a disgrace
or a line of fire
aimless

right
on.

bottled

see that stranger walking on the street not noticing anything or anyone that is noticing him?
or the pony-tailed girl sitting next to you in all your childhood birthday photos?
see the woman picking up a bottle of water that just fell from her hand and rolled away under the sun?

maybe they're happy.

quick talk

i have a constant phobia of cockroaches. any small, black line or shape makes me stare at it long enough to ensure it isn't moving -- not toward me, at least.

the ridiculous eastern-european connection continues:

- my 20th c history coarse turned out to miss a description in its title : "eastern-european conflicts"

- at red room tonight, while reading for the above test, at the table next to me sat a triple friendly conversation on the problems of ethnicity and sovereignty in ... guess where?

i'm not saying there is a cosmological spirit moving me away from the wild wild west and toward the opposite direction- i'm just enjoying the ride.

i want a bag full of feathers. 

i can't read the news tomorrow.

dream-talk

DAVID BAILLY
Dutch, 1584-1657

dreams, lately, have been stranger than usual.

i was asked to repent by an old nun, and i was lifted (saved, stolen?) by invisible strings. then became invisible, floated and flied about in a foggy, wet, mean forest..."the cruelest joke," i called it.

in another, i was in a color-saturated urban city... small, rusty orange cars with bubbles emitting out of them. i was running down a steep hill under a massive concrete bridge that was withering away beautifully... fungi envelopping its grey columns.i was disappointed. i can't tell you why

i forget the other one.

before/after

is wwIII the only solution?

is exile a viable destination?

the polish example?

corruption

note to self:

practice lying

note to self:

get rid of them fucking liars.

may first

i found a few grays

it is may first, ya'll

oil spills on my head

(and in mexico)

choosing between lovers

and countries

or lives to follow

watching the wire

readings on trials 

human errors and the void mistakes

workers day, days to work, and workers to pay

unpaid forces around your throat

unpaid prayers creeping into your world

it's may first ya'll

who's gonna fix it all