23.3.11

if you read Persian

then maybe read one of my poems:

برایم بمان
شعر شدی، توی سرم افتادی
چرخ زدی مستم شدی
داستان که شدی از سرم افتادی
جوش آمدی سوزاندیم
سرد که شدی خاکسترم دود شد هوا
چرا نمی‌‌ماند
چرا نمی‌‌ماند
چرا این حسّ مگسی 
لعنتی چرا شعر نمی‌‌مانی
ابر شدی برایم تا سفرهاو بی‌ هوا بالا
باران شدی روی زمین شکستی‌
من می‌پرسم و نمی‌‌دانم و جوابم
دوباره با صدای خنده‌های ناخوانده آغاز شد
و با نگاهِ خواستنیت
توی دفترم خط شد
و خواستت تمامِ معنای یک منظرهٔ دور
که نمی‌‌بینمش و نمی‌‌دانم چرا این حسّ مگسی
لعنتی چرا نمی‌‌ماند
چرا شعر برایم نمی‌‌ماند
شَک شدی و چند آرزوی محال
محالِ هم شدیم و هیجان سکوت
فریادم فَصل شد و رفت
داستان شد و افتاد از سرم
این لعنتی باز هم نماند.
نیویورک / ژانویه/ ۲۰۱۱
* from my soon-to-be-published poetry collection: This is Not a Pomegranate

Liz


From: Los Angeles Times

"Coincidence to be sure, but Elizabeth Taylor's death Wednesday morning at 79 coincides with Nowruz, sometimes called "Persian New Year." Beginning on the first day of spring and lasting for 13 days, Nowruz -- "New Day" -- celebrates the start of nature's annual cycle.

In the summer of 1976, photographer Firooz Zahedi was himself beginning something new when, as a relatively recent graduate from Washington's Corcoran School of Art, the aspiring young artist accompanied Taylor to Iran. Zahedi photographed the acclaimed 44-year-old actress -- and extraordinary beauty -- in the cities of Persepolis, the ceremonial capital of ancient Persia's Achaemenid Empire; the garden-city of Shiraz; and, finally, architecturally splendid Isfahan.
Those pictures, never before shown together, are on view at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Zahedi, now a well-known commercial and Hollywood photographer, explains the unusual circumstances of the expedition in this short video, produced by the museum for "Elizabeth Taylor in Iran: Photographs by Firooz Zahedi." The show remains in the fourth floor galleries of LACMA's Ahmanson Building through June 12."

bienvenu

Chapter III – Train to Paris


The words still echo in my head: “Ostokhoonhaat, sedaye pooki midan” [Your bones, sound hollow].
It’s a line from the lyrics I wrote to his song. The night before, I was front row at some East-London venue singing along to it with 400 other people pulsating behind me. It was feverish.
Surreal.
But now almost sober, I’m on a 9:00 a.m. train to Paris. 

"It’s fucking happening, life, as we celebrate or lament or wait around, or stand there thinking, one croissant or two? Almond or plain? Do you have a lighter? I missed my train. Where is my cellphone? Denied application? Deterred. Delayed. Deferred . . ."

Trees flash by unpretentiously, as if waiting for a pair of eyes. I close my eyes; I can still hear them. 
I recognize my love for him. I realize it because there is a mysterious part of my brain, of my body, that is absent and/or fleeting at all times. It must be his.

I write down “I love this city. I’ll move away if it kills me […] Comfort is the death of me.”

Bienvenu a Paris.  I open my eyes.  

things

Chapter II - London


And suddenly I’m in it again. In the middle of it all, at the British Museum.



I stand against a gold crown that shines shamelessly at me. It belonged to a nomadic 19-year-old girl who lived in first century A.D., around Tillya Tepeh (in today’s Afghanistan). The precious heirloom was designed so that it would fold, piece by piece – how practical.
It keeps on shining amongst other pieces of jewelry, with such prosperity that it’s hard not to wonder, what happened. The geometrical pattern looks so “modern” that I laugh at how unique we think “modernity” is.
Post modernism, formalism, structuralism; all these ‘isms’ to make us feel like we’re constantly progressing and developing— Oh yes, we are evolving, no?
I see a pattern: birth, progress, reaction, regress, and death. There is nothing linear about it.


I look at maps of long-gone polities and gated cities. I notice the luxurious landscapes that people had the pleasure of looking at, and how much space they each had to roam around.
Every pillar, every public garden, every wall, was beautifully hand carved with ornate designs, and with such purpose and care that I had to search for some air when I imagined them getting violently seized, looted and destroyed.
The victorious Empire, whether it was the Persians, Greeks, or Mongols, would then seep in and settle. Or abandon what was left of the city for us to dismantle and show case in museums centuries later.

And then foolishly I think, I wish our cities had gates. Nostalgia for things we never had, is the foolish part.



14.3.11

word of the day

Fabien de Chavanes - currently exhibited at galerie binôme/Paris


limp(ly) adjectivelacking internal strength or structure; not stiff or firm • having or denoting a book cover that is not stiffened with board.• without energy or will
* because I saw the word twice within two hours in two completely different texts [New Yorker, Feb 28th; Nausea by Sartre] - I was having a bottle of wine by myself, in a London Cafe. Yes, an entire bottle. 

2+2=4

Here's why I haven't blogged lately:

" . . .  make it clear that I need to write more, to enter spaces that are void of other human connections, and speak out to myself. No amount of 140 characters, witty-sentences, blog posts, or texts, or headlines, have such a cleansing, meditative impact on me. This sincere, solid excursion of thoughts, rationale, and expressions is necessary. It is vital for my sanity, creativity, and logic..."

Chapter I -  The Airport

I’m born again on an airplane / in the airport. I wonder if my mom ever traveled on air while pregnant with me.

Can I ever go back to Iran again? I long to smell the gasoline-filled air, find the rugged men on the street, all sweaty and sleazy, sexy and beautiful…I want to get a taxi, see old friends who have either changed too much or not at all…I miss the landscapes of Tehran and the mountains in the North. I miss it all.

But here’s the thing. They may arrest reformist clerics and former presidents, and opposition leaders…They can jail directors, actors, artists, writers, and professors…They may torture and vanish activists, journalists, and students. And I mean, what’s left in a country like that? Construction workers and government employees?
Whatever it is that they’re trying to build now, is it even worth it?
But even so, you may kill the painter, but not art. You can get rid of writers and journalists, but not literature or truth. Jail students and teachers, but what about knowledge.

2 + 2 = 4. You can’t take that away.



25.2.11

sweet dreams

photo by Shirin Fathi


I'm the only one who's allowed to use me

And so, I will use
and be used







22.2.11

grammer

Willem de Kooning - Queen of Hearts








love is plural 

hang in there

Don't remember the artist. But at Saatchi Gallery.


and I could hear them all scream. 

hopeless as they were, hopeful as I was. 

how could I justify that visceral feeling,
I'd been there once before.

a decision was made: I will continue.






19.2.11

musical

speaking of friends, this is what my best friend does on her spare time when she's not working full time and studying full time and just being fantastic, full time.

http://www.myspace.com/rochelt

wings

So my friend Mina is in town from Peterborough, which for us means too much wine and funny shared anecdotes.
She also shared this pretty much perfect piece of poetry with me, which we had with tea and chocolate:


Matisse - Icarus

THIS HEAVY CRAFT

P.K. Page


The wax has melted
but the dream of flight
persists.
I, Icarus, though grounded
in my flesh
have one bright section in me
where a bird
night after starry night
while I'm asleep
unfolds its phantom wings
and practices.



15.2.11

left overs







You know when someone leaves and the house still sounds like them, feels like them?
As if a part of him was still moving the curtain, running the water.
As if nothing else exists outside these walls. And yet, all that really matters, is on the other side.

12.2.11

brunch








I had croissant crumbs in  my bellybutton.

And I thought how stupid it is to believe in destiny.

who loves valentine?


Falling in love again was simple.
It was the marked way that he’d cross his legs, ever so swiftly and controlled, in the middle of conversations that did not matter. The gesture was either a show of confidence or vulnerability rather than practicality. In my eyes it was divine, and I longed for the repetition. I longed for all sorts of repetitions that no one else noticed.
But with every in love there is an out love, and I was powerless to outlaw it. 



10.2.11

9.2.11

word of the day




tee
total
 |ˈtēˌtōtl|
adjectivechoosing or characterized by abstinence from alcohol teetotalism |-ˌizəm| |ˈtiˈˈtoʊdlˈɪzəm| nounORIGIN mid 19th cent.: emphatic extension of total , apparently first used by Richard Turner, a worker from Preston, England, in a speech (1833)urging total abstinence from all alcohol, rather than mere abstinence from spirits, advocated by some early temperance reformers.

feet






The only thing that matters is imagination.
To be able to imagine yourself in other unseen locations, vocations, and sensibilities. This has to continue no matter how content you feel you are right now.
Content is dangerous.

6.2.11

the look



" You look so innocent."

I can never tell if that's a compliment or something else. Something terrible.




i figured it out



art is
Arshile Gorky - Diary of a Seducer 

Vik Muniz - Spaghetti Medusa

From a sketchbook of Louise Bourgeoise 


an interpretation. 

status




Einstein was right.

Energy cannot be destroyed . . . it is simply transfered from one state to another.

Nothing ever ends.